yamanai ame da neeee

yes, it is the last lap
Saturday, September 29, 2007

ah the bloggy's finally done.
time to get back to work!

jiayou everyone. 1 more month.
after that, we'll have to world to ourselves.

11:05 AM

Friday, September 28, 2007

I don't know why i'm blogging so much.
but i was just thinking.. (ok, so i wasn't really concentrating on the essays on my table) that i'm quite a horrible comfort-er, comfort provider, SYMPATHISER. hahahahaha..
yes, ok seriously, until now one thing that i have completely no idea how to go about doing is to make people feel better.. like really feel better.
how to make someone really forget her troubles and not just give a watery 'i''ll be fine' smile that just seeks to reassure me??

is there a 101 for that, cause i'll need it i think.
because i don't feel good when people tell me that they're sad, that they need support and know that i won't be able to provide that for them.
maybe because to me, when im really feeling down, nothing anyone can say can cheer me up one leh. haha.. i just have to wallow in it for awhile and then get on with life.
just sitting quietly with someone whom i know understands just really helps.
hugs and kisses(figuratively) just don't apply at that moment, you know.
nice words, encouraging words won't apply either.
so what to do to make people feel better?????
I don't know.

HAII life and its many puzzles.
when we will ever get to know any better?

11:40 PM

ok its done for now.
lazy to finish up alrr la
eh can anyone give me the tag thing for the posting time below the post.
haha dunno where to find.

8:44 PM

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

how do you make up for this complete lost of faith?

ahh i hope im not one of those who are mentally easy to crush :X

it's really times like this where you discover yourself huh.

10:02 PM

Monday, September 24, 2007

I must not impose my standards upon others because i know that's one thing i dislike about people. I need to keep an open mind, know and remind myself constantly that everyone is weak and strong in different areas, have faith that my abilities will never reach its limits, take to heart that as time passes and slowly my worst sides develope, something better and more meaningful could have been blossoming at that very same time and i would have been a much better person. I shall remember that everyone has their weaknesses but also understand that we are born with a threshold for tolerating weaknesses.

I shall not become a person i dislike,
for if anyone is to dislike me, it is not to be myself.

I realise that the difference between intelligent people and unintelligent people, optimistic people and pessimistic people, are how they cope with their mistakes and how well they handle criticism.. not how well they do in school or how happy they sound on the surface.

I also realise that as we strive to become these people we do things that are stupid and.. well, stupid. and so, we should always try to forgive people for we give them the benefit of the doubt that they are in the process of trial and error. however, i have also discovered that some people just do not try or make a hobby out of pretending not to care for these qualities when deep down inside they really do.

I think not caring is not admirable, but neither is being overly bothered.
I also think that you do not have to be influenced into acting anyway just because anyone else is going to admire you for it.
Do it because you will like yourself alot better, because you will be a better person, because you will benefit yourself, because you will live your life to the fullest.
Like it or not, the world is really about you-only when you want to be good, will you be able to do good to others. only when you are understanding and encompassing, do people feel comfortable around you and benefit from your company.
Only when you care about yourself can you care about others.

10:30 PM

Saturday, September 22, 2007

hahahaha.
i suddenly had a bolt of ingenious inspiration (alliteration!)
and tada! i have my class's grad present already :D
im bursting to tell someone about it but i can't la.. so sad.

hope it'll turn out niceeeeeeeeeeeee.
not nice also must say nice of course.

10:41 PM

Friday, September 21, 2007

IM STRONGLY TEMPTED TO MOVE BACK TO MY LJ CAUSE I SPENT HOURS DEVISING MY SKIN AND IT GAVE UP ON ME AND WENT BONKERS.
MY EYES ARE BULGING AN EXTRA CM STARING AT ALL THE HTML AND SO I GIVE UP.

HTML IS A BITCHHHHHH.

8:37 PM

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

i'm changing my blog skin.

cause i'm bored, im at home, and i have nothing to do (except study, which is out of the 'to do' list now).
actually, i don't have a 'to do' list.
thats why i hace nothing to do. see see!
HAHAHAH!

hope everything's fine in the world out there as i rot at home.
no one's dying in another earthquake, or another plane crash, or another collapsing mine in china.

1:27 PM

Monday, September 17, 2007

im sorry i know im gonna annoy ppl by doing this
but i just have to remind myself about how much i sucked.

econs essay cannot do
math paper 2 screwed
geog paper 2's a goner too
geog paper 1 drq was a nightmare

ok tml's lit............
arghh. im so so so worried... just abt SOMETHING.
i dunno what! as in... you know, im just have nervous pangs and it just doesn't go away.....
ahhh... how.
omg i think i've never felt so insecure and worried in my life.

i'm becoming paranoid...... i get sad when i'm alone at home.
HAHA. hahaha sorry ok tts funny.. but really leh.. OMG :(
is this depression??? ok no la i know its not..
:((((((((((

haii you know, this feeling really sucks.
its like, while i'm totally down in the dumps, i'm constantly being reminded of how much more unfortunate things can be for others. it makes me feel like i have no right to feel this way.
but i do! i do... and what can i do about it......
huh huh.
i wanna sit down and bawl.

3:06 PM

Monday, September 10, 2007

i had 3 funky little dreams in a row.

one was a nightmare, the other weird and one was coool.

i dreamt about RAPHAEL. hahahah...
one was abt math results...
and another was a secret geog mission with my mama and daddy.

guess which was a nightmare which was weird and which cool.

it was so funny.
and it felt so real... until my alarm clock rang and i woke.
so sadd. econs paper later on.

ahh don't wanna fail again!!!!!
I MUST PASS comeon.... if i fail again i'm gna be damn sad.
i studied ok zsdkjgbsdlkgjbas.

byebye.
oh im having a sudden bout of mucus explosion!!!
omg. like lahar. (mudflow after a volcanic eruption or landslide)
itchy lehhh.

11:19 AM

Sunday, September 09, 2007

omg i have sinned!

i went to the library and borrowed books.
omg. that's nothing to do with lit.
AH. IM SO SORRY I COULDNT STAND IT ANYMORE.
In Arcadia is a MUST READ ahhhhhhhh.
its by Ben Okri, who write poems we did one of his elegies before.
so is that counted at lit-related?? omg :/
and Inheritance of Loss is must read ALSO!!!
ahh im satisfying my craving by allowing myself to read abit abit before i sleep. heh.
guilty guilty guilty.
and i went to visit my sims.
OH MY. my baby looked the same as when i left.
oh i miss all of you.

SOMEBODY SLAP ME. PLEASE.

12:41 PM

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Pavarotti died!
omg. altho i don't listen to opera. but omg.
he's one of the greatest opera singers EVER.
mannn the world will lose many things now that he's gone.

you know, i read this book, and there was a part which said that people mourn death not because this person is no longer around, but because they know how much memories they could still have created if he was still around... they weep at the lost of a future with that person, and not at the past.

hmmm.. yes it makes alot alot of sense. when we think about the past, we are sad because it can never happen again... haiiii......... so depressing.

welll.. LETS OBSERVE A MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR LUCIANO PAVOROTTI
bless his soul;

ahh. today is thursday alr.
spent one whole day in vj on tuesday.
eh matong you owe me big :)

8:07 PM

Monday, September 03, 2007

i'm having a hell of a life.

but i'm glad everyone's suffering with me :D
HEH HEH i know im horrible...
oh well.

saw crys today! she stays in LA wth im so jealous.
awww had a niceeee looonnnngg talk.
sat at nydc 4 hours? haha everyone was coming and going around us..
:)
love you guys.
i can't emphasise that enough, you know?

oh i wrote this nice long post about how i feel about someone.
and is considering whether to put it up.
ahh blogging can kill.

1:25 AM

Saturday, September 01, 2007

i think it's funny when a person put up an ambiguous post abt someone else thinking that the person wouldn't know. cause they always do. moving one step ahead would be posting an ambiguous entry abt someone wishing they would know who it's abt.

haha.. this is politics of the blogger world, isn't it?

OH WELL. friday was fun.
laughed like shit, i bet all the teacher's were damn touched by us!
ohhh so proud of ourselves.
I SURVIVED 0633A
haha.. made all the teachers wear the shirt.. ahh our teachers are actually cute little ppl deep down inside..
they all wanna be young again!
especially gregory susie paul chow :)
yes, thats about innova...

and sn..
was there really a blackout in sn?! omg can't believe that happened.
I WANNA GO BACKKK WHATS THIS LAH.
could have met winnie and wendy but no, i didn't!
it isn't fair.
haha.. bet the stnicks girls were cheering like crazy at home...
oh man why nothing like tt ever happened when i was there!!!
oh oh got got! the sars tt time. hahah i rmb i was staring in disbelieve when i was suddenly bombarded by many many messages telling me to watch cna! haha and i was on the phone with someone saying omg........ hahah..
then when we went back to schl ms gwee scolded us cause our plants dried up and died!
hahahahah... remember!
she said we shld have came back to bring them home :/
ah crazy days.

3:36 PM